I’ll play again this week, Share Your World.
Is it necessary to trust someone you like? (friends, acquaintances or co-workers with whom you have no familial ties)
Not for acquaintances and the like, when to me the image is that you are holding those people out at arm’s length anyway. I guess it comes down to the definitions of like and trust (and friends). There were a lot of people at my various jobs I loathed. My stomach would clench every time I had to even be in the same room. There were a few people I could walk up to and interact with and have pleasant conversation with. Was that “like”? I don’t know. I sure as hell didn’t trust any of them (and hindsight has proven that to have been a wise tactic).
When you bump things up to the friends catagory, however, where you hang out, swap stories and insights, then yes, I think there needs to be a level of trust. Trust is earned over time, and deepens as well. While you might like and trust a relatively new friend enough to, I don’t know, admit you pee in the shower sometimes, it may take years before you trust them enough to help you bury the (hypothetical of course!) body you need to make disappear.
Do you hold grudges? What do you do when someone really irritates you?
:::exhaling loudly and whining::: I don’t knoooowwwww. Not really? Maybe? I do that reportedly female thing of being able to recall certain incidents, “Remember, dear, the night we went out for lasagna and right after I had a huge portion you asked if I had put on some weight?…” And that was ten years ago.
I’ve had so many rotten things happen in the last decade-plus, by so many rotten people, that while I think my general tendency is to not hold a grudge, just fume for a while and just let it go, I think my more recent, PTSD involved reality is more, “yeah, I probably do.” I don’t act on them. The memories come up and I seeth or cry or swear this is the day that asshole, micromanaging bully of a supervisor is going to get that email laying it all out (but I don’t, and hopefully won’t).
When someone really irritates me in the present? It depends. That’s my go-to answer on all questions like this. “It depends.” Because: It does. How irritated? What person? Where is it happening? If it pings my depression, anxiety and/or PTSD a knee-jerk reaction is possible and not pretty. Warranted perhaps but not pretty. I try to avoid those. Luckily I live in isolation so the irritants are few and far between (but oh, they do manage to show up!).
What’s the most sensible thing you’ve heard someone say?
It is a toss up: Will (whatever the issue is) matter in a week? A month? A year? If the answers are no, react accordingly. Or
If you are struggling with making a decision about something, unless someone is holding a gun to your head or the government paperwork has a deadline of NOW, then chances are you don’t need to make the decision NOW. Step away from it. Amazingly, with more time, more things tend to appear, more information, different perspectives and all of the sudden the decision is much easier. Sometimes the decision is no longer even necessary. PROCRASTINATION can work!
Is crying a sign of weakness or strength in adults?
Neither. It is a sign of experiencing emotions. Strong people can cry, and should be encouraged to if that is what they need. Fragile people can cry, and should be encouraged to if that is what they need. Experiencing emotions in some places is awkward, but these weird notions of strength, worth, competence, or whatever, that society puts on people to suppress their every emotion, to present with only stoic blankness, is unhealthy.
GRATITUDE SECTION (Always Optional)
What small things were you grateful for this week?
Not accidentally burning the apartment down last night, when it was close to doing so, is rather a plus. My eyes are still stinging from the smoke but I still have an apartment and the fire department didn’t have to come out. Always a net plus.
Not having to wonder what gawd-awful, crazy Tweet is going to be plastered all over the news. (That’s not that small.)
That my computer is back to operating ok after a very weird and scary blue screen of death episode.
I guess I’m grateful for a lot of things that did NOT happen this week. 🙂