Share Your World is a weekly prompt. You are provided with several questions, which you answer and then link back. I’ve had two very close together (less than a week) because I’m not on the schedule yet.

What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top of?

What was then called the Sears Tower in Chicago. It is now the Willis Tower. I have no idea who Willis is or was, but apparently he’s rich enough for a tower.

What do you do to keep fit?

ahahahaha. This is a trick question, right? I read about keeping fit. I’m on physical and mental disability. The physical is due to me having bilateral bone-on-bone knees. It makes things difficult. I do free weights. I started doing some yoga (again, I’m limited due to my mobility). I keep thinking I should swim but finances are an issue.

What’s your jack-o-lantern carved to look like?

I haven’t done a pumpkin in years. They are kind of tough in apartments with interior access and no porches. If I were to do one, it would be something fun, like a pumpkin chewing a gourd.

Do you have hope or have you lost it?

I’m going to get flak for this answer, but I don’t like hope. Hope and worry are two sides of the same coin. Hope is projecting “good” results to some situation while worry is projecting “bad” results. Both are types of magical thinking.

I’ve been the victim of hope, and I think most humans over a certain age have been. You hope for a date with someone you’ve been crushing on. It doesn’t happen. Or it does, and you’re rejected. You hope you get the raise or promotion, and it doesn’t materialize. The let down from all of that dashed hoping is painful. At least if your worry doesn’t manifest that means you’re probably in better shape. This blog of mine has been filled with crushed hopes and the mind-numbing aftermath.

Instead of hope I suggest goals. I suggest intentions. Put it out there into the universe that you intend to have some-such happen. And then, and this is the hardest part, you let go of the “hoped for” outcome. Sure, you work toward your intention, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen. You let go of your expectations of the result! That’s the things, the worry and hope—the trouble makers—that need to be banished.

I’ve had this conversation with mental healthcare providers over the past year. The initial response I get when I say that I think hope isn’t useful and is just as damaging as its counterpart of worry, is some massive amount of note taking on their part. That is followed by concerned looks. That is then followed by either telling me I’m mistaken or asking me to explain. After I explain every single professional was very quiet in thought. Each then said, “I never thought of if like that. I think you are right.”

GRATITUDE QUESTION: Feel free to share something you’re grateful for!  Images and photos or poems, essays or free writing (stream of consciousness) pieces are all acceptable! 

Yes, I know they aren’t great to their employees. (I tip well.) I’m grateful that finally, FINALLY in our local area we can now get a small selection of wine delivered via Instacart. Other areas have had this for ages. I can’t afford delivery any more, but I’m grateful to know it is there. In 2020 if anything needed to exist it was delivery of alcohol to your door.

9 Comments

  1. Thanks so much for participating in Share Your World! You’re the second person who has mentioned the “Willis” Tower, and they didn’t know who Willis was either! Must not have been all that famous, hmmm? I have the same issues with my knees as you do, but I’ve had one replaced (so NOT WORTH IT IMHO), the other one is exactly as you describe it…limited mobility and for me, subsequent depression. Covid hasn’t helped my state of mind. The hope question has brought a lot of diverse and interesting answers, and yours may well be the most thoughtful so far! Thanks! Have a great week!

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    1. Well, I cheated on the “hope” question because I’ve had this discussion several times over the years and especially during the year of plague.

      Now I will have to look up Willis.

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  2. I think you make an excellent point about hope. You should never ‘expect’ hope to happen as it invariably, or more often than not, leads to disappointment. Equally worry is not worth it either. (My wife worries about anything and everything – and often on behalf of other people, where she has absolutely no control over the outcomes anyway). So maybe they should be deleted from the dictionary. Then we’d have no hope and no worries, which sounds like a fair trade-off to me. 😊

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  3. I would likely disagree on your answer about hope, for consciously or subconsciously we all hope for something every day. We hope that roast in the oven doesn’t come out too tough, or that the rain won’t come in under the door again. We either hope to wake in the morning, or not to. Without some degree of hope, there’s not much reason to get out of bed in the morning. So, hope for the sun to shine tomorrow, or for your teeth not to all fall out, or for … something … anything. 🙃

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    1. Well, as I said, I knew that wouldn’t be a popular answer. However, my response to your examples: Rather than “hope” the roast isn’t dry, we can instead intend that it does not and take steps to ensure it cooks properly… and then let go of the outcome. If it still is dry, well, you tried. However if you HOPE it was going to turn out great, then, well… you’re stuck being disappointed. Hoping it turns out delish is just as useless as worrying it won’t.

      The same can be said for the rain under the door. What good is either hoping or worrying whether it will or not? Put a rubber flange on the door and see if that works.

      I totally disagree that one has to “hope” to get up in the morning. Instead, how about radical acceptance?

      Just because “we all” do something, doesn’t make it right. And we all don’t hope everyday. I try very, very hard to avoid it and worrying.

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      1. Ah well … I rather like having a bit of hope in my life. For instance, I hope that someday we will be able to enter a public venue without a mask, and yet not be at risk or putting others at risk. I hope that Joe Biden wins the election. I hope that the U.S. begins to address climate change more aggressively, working toward renewable energy sources and phasing out fossil fuels. I hope that nuclear weapons are someday gone. And, I hope that my granddaughter has a brighter future than I can see right now. Those are things over which I have very little, if any control, but I have to hope, else why bother to live? Just my own perspective … you have yours and I have mine. And, we can still be friends!

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