The government is still processing my disability claim. Every day I obsessively log in to the Social Security site and check. Anything happen yet? Anything happen yet? Anything… This is what I’ve seen since mid-January:


tick tick tick

But then I did something “stupid” yesterday. I found an online benefit calculator, specifically for disability. If it is correct, I’m in a world of trouble even if I do get a disability determination. Like, living in my car trouble. At least it is a roomy Mustang (sarcasm font).

Assuming I even get disability, I can work, up to a certain dollar amount. I don’t know what that is. There’s the old problem: If I could work then I would. If I could get hired, that is. I’m looking into work at home situations.

tick tick tick

I have two more unemployment checks then nothing.

To say I’m terrified is an understatement.

I have looked for help in various ways, with various agencies. The behavioral health clinic I am using has a case worker who helps with real life, day to day, things. Each person I contact remarks, “You’re doing so well. You’re doing everything you can.” That just makes me want to puke because I feel like I am doing nothing.

The psychiatrist I saw prescribed an anti-anxiety medicine. Can’t say as I can see a lot of results with that yet, but the dosage is very low right now.

Meanwhile, it is … wait for it … SNOWING. Fairly hard. Accumulating. Yay New England. Dreaming of warmer days when you can spend five hours drinking in the sun on an inflatable raft like these old folks (although poor Aunt June peed herself):


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