As Linda noticed herself, sometimes the final S in SoCS is Sunday, even if spelled out it is Saturday.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “notice.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!

The whole, long weekend has been about me putting myself on notice. It has been me leaving scribbled pieces of paper tacked up to the blogosphere’s telephone posts, alerting the public that changes are warranted, required, necessary, and of survival.

I’ve studied myself, too much. I notice I am scared to death, which is understandable but also the worst thing I can be as that brings out my defensiveness. This isn’t the best time to be alone, without support, on the other hand (there’s always another hand), it would be worse to be dealing with someone who was supposed to be there for me and wasn’t. (I’m so over that stuff.)

There was a show called Dirty Jobs and it was amazing to watch what some people did — happily and willingly. People all around the world have crappier job situations than I’m dealing with. I remember reading about the old process of tanning hides, a truly horrible set of jobs. In other words, historically and currently all over Earth, my problem would be seen by others as a non-problem, as one of largesse. I’m not sure that knowledge helps; it probably should. It is my own brain causing my misery (with the help of Botox Barbie). How very Buddhist of me.

We will note that right now my mental state has been bludgeoned to the point where I’m now barely functional. I used to be a functional depressive; it looks like that is slipping. I’m needing to walk that fine line between paying enough attention to avert my idiot reactions and paying too much attention thus getting dangerously mired. I need to stop calling it my idiot reactions. I’m not being that reactive. My responses have been fairly mild and justified, but that unchanged will have my boss handing me notice.

I have to sign away my life to the old landlords today, so that I can stay where I’ve lived for several years. That’s exciting [notice that is sarcasm font].

I found a lovely sim in Second Life that will keep me otherwise engaged in taking pictures (below). It is very LotR meets Myst.

I woke up today with my brain playing “The Boxer,” which recalling the lyrics, is incredibly appropriate. Guess I’ll dig it out from Youtube. One of the best albums ever.


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